I wanted no part in this game and quite frankly, I didn’t even understand it. I was pure. I just wanted to learn, make friends, and have fun. I chose to join the student union to keep busy and use my time in a valuable way. My dad encouraged me to do that and to keep as few friends as possible, so I did.
But the reality was different. No one wanted to be my friend, they didn’t deem me worthy of their time and respect. I was just a silly girl who’s there to have some fun, no one took me seriously. I was just being myself. A friend approached me and told me this. Maybe he thought he was helping me but I told it’s ok, they will see who I am in the end because I know myself. Everyone judges the clown on the outside but no one sees what’s on the inside. The indomitable will, the ruthless ambition, the insatiable hunger for money and success. People are stupid, they have no clue how to judge someone's character properly.
The social rejection was tough. There it was again, everyone treating me like a freak for being myself but I stayed in my lane and held on in good faith that my moment will come. I did not need to compromise my integrity. And to be honest, I truly did not understand these social rules. I quickly started to see that I am different from people and I perceived the world differently. I did not understand the concept of feelings or of not talking about people or that people are different with different people. I am only one. There is no other me. I treat everyone exactly the same way. It made no sense to me. People thought I was stupid for it, for always doing the right thing. I stay faithful only to what’s on the inside. The small voice on the inside. It points me in the right direction.
Everyone made me out to be a monster for being different. They shamed me and took my power away from me, I had no clue what I did wrong. I only told the truth and did the right thing. I guess that’s what got me hated so much. I know I made some mistakes but I cannot take anything back. I can only move forward knowing that everything I did, I did it in the best interest of the community.
My ascend to power was by complete fluke. I stayed in my lane ,I kept my head down, and I worked really hard. I don’t have any other secret. I stumbled into it. I held no grudges, I had no bad feelings towards my bullies, and dealt with my problems on my own. Until they decided to attack me, that’s when I unleashed my shadow. Perhaps, God handed me an opportunity to take my revenge on a silver platter and I took it. I did not even set out to take revenge, I just wanted justice from all my tormentors. Not only these but all the past ones who bullied me for being different. Finally, I get to take it out and I did my best to do it in an ethical way. I guess in war, you can never get everything straight, but I really tried to always stay true to myself. I had to own my shadow, it was holding me back and keeping me in a loop of self-doubt. I had to learn how to own it, control it, and channel it. These people gave me the perfect opportunity so I can go out into the world fully equipped. I guess my shadow isn’t really me, it’s only there to protect me from the wolves.
I have a big heart. I make decisions based on my feelings. If something feels right, I do it and if it doesn’t, I don’t. It’s that simple for me. I never think about personal gain but it seemed like everyone around me was. They treated humans like objects. When I was kind to people, they thought I must be stupid and even the people I helped with nothing to gain in return, turns out they were just using me. They didn't know I'm a reformed wolf myself. I'm one step ahead in the game.
I absolutely did not enjoy fighting so hard to stand up for myself and absolutely did not enjoy doing a mock fake elections to be president but I had to follow my vision. They walked me right into it. They kept giving me idea after idea through the mistakes they made. I just followed my imagination and intuition. I did my best to do the right thing and not lose my self-respect. I had to go through with it until the very end because I cannot allow anyone to shame me into silence or any judgements to stop me from being myself. Running for president was perhaps a tad big egotistical, I admit but he walked me right into it. The crown was right in front of me staring at me in the face. I would have been stupid not to grab it for myself after all the hard work I put into this community. As for my opponent, he truly deserved it. He sold out his most loyal friend to impress the cool crowd. Serves him right! It's funny how it worked out. The person who didn't want any power ended up walking away with all the chips in one hand. Isn't this what life is all about anyway? Discovering the different parts to ourselves? In this chapter of my story, I became a politician.
I have no fear and no shame because I have nothing to hide. What’s on the inside is exactly what’s on the outside. What happens in my home brings me no shame. I take full ownership of my mistakes and I hold myself accountable for my choices, even if the consequences of telling the truth are harsh. It’s what gives me my self-confidence.
I feel vexed by abusive behavior. I did not understand that there were people out there with no empathy and no moral code like mine, I saw everyone the same. I guess my world view was shattered, I had to finally accept that there are bad people in the world. I was an artist surrounded everywhere by psychopaths.
I am different and that is okay. Having this many haters can only mean one thing: I reached the next level of success. I got power because I didn’t want it, it found me because I wasn’t looking for it, and I won the game because I wasn’t playing. Maybe because it knows that I am strong enough not to abuse my power. For now, I put my political career to rest because in truth, I don't like politics. It's filled with hypocrites. I much prefer the world of business.
I didn’t choose power. It chose me.
